This is How it Always Is: A masterclass in trans representation

Laurie Frankel’s “This Is How It Always Is” is a novel that should be read by everyone. A heart-wrenching story about a trans child’s journey, this novel consistently flies under the radar in conversations about queer literature. Although published in 2017 and receiving multiple awards — including The New York Times bestseller, Book of the Year (from People, Amazon and more), and the Washington State Book Award — this phenomenal novel remains widely unknown to both the queer community and book lovers in general. It is a story told with care and intent, sure to leave a lasting impression on all those who read it.

Cover design of This Is How It Always Is by Patrick Insole

Set primarily in Seattle, “This Is How It Always Is” centres around Rosie, the intelligent, spirited mother of five boys. The plot follows how Rosie’s family’s world is turned upside down when her youngest child, Claude — who the reader will soon get to know as Poppy — begins to explore her gender identity and discover what it means to be a trans girl. “This Is How It Always Is” portrays the depth of one’s identity and how to handle a secret that is both so important yet irrelevant at once. The story magnifies how all aspects of one’s life are impacted by identity, from issues at school and within friendships to family dynamics and geographical safety. Frankel portrays the unique truth that being a trans child — and person — is simultaneously unique and special but also no more abnormal than all children and all people we love and care for. The novel examines the complexity of parenting and the necessity of loudly supporting trans people, particularly children, with love and loyalty — a message that is relevant now more than ever.

“This Is How It Always Is” is a life-changing book for parents of trans children, delving into murky waters of taboo topics such as gender-affirming care for children and whether one’s trans identity should be “kept a secret.“ Frankel discusses these topics with care and nuance, bringing her experience as a mother of a trans daughter into a discussion that is often heated and hurtful. However, such is the mark of any truly great story — the novel’s impact reaches beyond those immediately connected to the storyline. Regardless of one’s relation to Frankel’s story, all parents will see themselves in Rosie, from her struggles to her delights. The family Frankel builds evokes nostalgia in the reader. Rosie’s husband, Penn, is a charismatic and gentle father, whose career as an author becomes beautifully intertwined with his family’s experiences.

Throughout the novel, Rosie and Penn’s five children undergo the vibrant experiences of childhood, with impressive weaving of all their complex storylines. Frankel’s storytelling displays a shockingly rare type of representation that is raw and honest while still full to the brim with beauty and love.

Frankel’s message is only as meaningful as her writing. Her story is enriching and cohesive — easy to follow yet, at times, full of thrilling suspense. Frankel establishes patterns in her writing and dialogue subtly, yet the impact is essential: smooth writing and transitions, with an intentional flow of plot and character development. However, it is perhaps Frankel’s humour that shines through most of all. Rosie’s narration is brimming with comedy that is both wry and casual, bringing life to every character’s decisions. Frankel’s intelligence and wit accompany the characters through moments as world-bending as being outed to everyone in your life or a trip across the world to Thailand. “This Is How It Always Is” can touch the reader with the exact right mix of devastation, hope and knowledge due to Frankel’s superb ability to build her characters and storyline.

“This Is How It Always Is” deserves a much greater spotlight in the queer literature circle than it currently has. Although Laurie Frankel does have a daughter who is trans, in her author’s note she writes, “…This isn’t her story…She’s a real person, so she’s the only one who can tell her story.“ In another note to readers Sudokuders, Frankel writes about her daughter, saying, “She is why sharing this story, although fiction, requires some bravery. She is also why I’ve done it anyway.“

Sunny Zatzick (he/him) is a trans writer and aspiring journalist who is passionate about engaging in activism through writing and art.